From my diary:  29th of July

July, 29, 2014


 

The weather was so hot and dry like if the air decided to join the conspiracy against us. It was so suffocating.

We spent the afternoon trying to answer the fundamental question “to leave or not to leave”, most of the people had already evacuated the area, we didn’t know where to go. so eventually we decided to stay home till it gets worse. Everyone was defending his point of view. I didn’t want to leave, my mom wanted to leave and she was really worried.

Suddenly I stood up leaving the room, ”where to go?” my mum asked, it’s too depressing I’m going to have a shower. I answered.

“enjoy it, it’s probably  your last shower in the house” my sister said ironically

“or in your life” interrupted my uncle, before I disappeared from their sight my brother added “hey, stay safe, we love you” ”that’s the spirit guys” I laughed, they laughed.

I showered with lots of tears and some water..

The night.. aah it was horrible, wait even horrible sounds cheerful and colorful than how it truly felt.

There’s nothing in this world I love more than Gaza but the night-sky. The war-planes violated the pure beauty, so did the flashes of the explosions, like if someone was taking some pictures to the sky with some huge camera, the artillery  bombs were seen   in the sky.. I couldn’t endure looking from the window witnessing my city being destroyed.

I sat on the couch hugging myself, leaning my head against my drawn-up knees watching my siblings sleeping around me. The scary thing about staying alive is that you keep waiting for death, you can hear the voice of the rocket flying over you before it hits its target.. each time I hear the sound, I shut my eyes, my shoulders go up and my neck sinks in, waiting it to blow me to pieces.. after hearing the explosion, I breath saying ”woah that was close!” ..that happened over a hundred times all night long.

I can’t describe the panicky, fears and pain I feel, my hair is falling, I’m pretty sure I’ll be wearing a wig after this nightmare_ if is survived.

My head was aching me like if it there were knifes constantly stabbing my brain, I thought this is my brain’s way to remind me that I’m just human and I need to sleep. My head was full of noise, for a moment I felt there’s a construction site inside. 

Earlier at dinner, I asked if I died in another town where will they burry me,  they said in the nearest grave yard you die in.

I said firmly ” I want to be buried next to my grandfather, here, in my town.” ”it’s not by your choice” my uncle said angrily.

”all I want is to be buried here, this is the last thing you will ever do for me!!” I said brutally, my heart started to pound heavily,  sounds of shelling was the only thing I heard next.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “From my diary:  29th of July

  1. Hello Dalia, my name is Salma, I am a Palestinian/Mexican American, my family is from the West Bank, but now, we only have my father’s direct cousins living there. Everyone else is scattered around the world.
    I just wanted you to know that I have been reading your posts almost everyday, and I cry while I read them every time. I know you don’t know me, but I want you to know that you have a friend, and you are in my prayers every day, and in my thoughts everyday, along with everyone else who is suffering.
    I pray that you and your family can survive this, and I know there is nothing I can tell you, or do, to make the situation better, because it might be hopeless….
    But please know that you are in my thoughts, and so is your family.
    Inshallah, all this ends soon.
    Those of us here in the United States know that it is our responsibility to continue talking and not letting anyone forget even for a minute what is happening in Gaza, and I promise I will try my best to be the voice for those whose voice has been taken away by Israel.
    Take care friend, be strong, and try your best not to stop writing….
    Because your words will go down in history.

    Love,
    Salma

    You can always e-mail me at salmayazmine@gmail.com.

    Like

your opinion matters, leave it here :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s