July, 29, 2014
The weather was so hot and dry like if the air decided to join the conspiracy against us. It was so suffocating.
We spent the afternoon trying to answer the fundamental question “to leave or not to leave”, most of the people had already evacuated the area, we didn’t know where to go. so eventually we decided to stay home till it gets worse. Everyone was defending his point of view. I didn’t want to leave, my mom wanted to leave and she was really worried.
Suddenly I stood up leaving the room, ”where to go?” my mum asked, it’s too depressing I’m going to have a shower. I answered.
“enjoy it, it’s probably your last shower in the house” my sister said ironically
“or in your life” interrupted my uncle, before I disappeared from their sight my brother added “hey, stay safe, we love you” ”that’s the spirit guys” I laughed, they laughed.
I showered with lots of tears and some water..
The night.. aah it was horrible, wait even horrible sounds cheerful and colorful than how it truly felt.
There’s nothing in this world I love more than Gaza but the night-sky. The war-planes violated the pure beauty, so did the flashes of the explosions, like if someone was taking some pictures to the sky with some huge camera, the artillery bombs were seen in the sky.. I couldn’t endure looking from the window witnessing my city being destroyed.
I sat on the couch hugging myself, leaning my head against my drawn-up knees watching my siblings sleeping around me. The scary thing about staying alive is that you keep waiting for death, you can hear the voice of the rocket flying over you before it hits its target.. each time I hear the sound, I shut my eyes, my shoulders go up and my neck sinks in, waiting it to blow me to pieces.. after hearing the explosion, I breath saying ”woah that was close!” ..that happened over a hundred times all night long.
I can’t describe the panicky, fears and pain I feel, my hair is falling, I’m pretty sure I’ll be wearing a wig after this nightmare_ if is survived.
My head was aching me like if it there were knifes constantly stabbing my brain, I thought this is my brain’s way to remind me that I’m just human and I need to sleep. My head was full of noise, for a moment I felt there’s a construction site inside.
Earlier at dinner, I asked if I died in another town where will they burry me, they said in the nearest grave yard you die in.
I said firmly ” I want to be buried next to my grandfather, here, in my town.” ”it’s not by your choice” my uncle said angrily.
”all I want is to be buried here, this is the last thing you will ever do for me!!” I said brutally, my heart started to pound heavily, sounds of shelling was the only thing I heard next.