All at once the summer collapsed into fall, Gaza collapsed into piles of disastrous devastations, hope collapsed into lugubrious depression and I, I collapsed into a stitched by pain, grief-stricken ,soulless body.
It was the first day I go out the house after the end of the brutal attack on Gaza which started in july,8th. Although the streets are teemed with life that not by any means look like a life. It felt like people were forced to live, forced to get back in the daily routine like if nothing happened. And whenever they pass by rubbles – that’s LITERALLY in every street- they should be like ” oh I wonder where this rubbles come from?” or worse some might start to perceive all the ruins as an ordinary thing in streets. People are like zombies or sleep-walkers, because of the heavy burdens on their shoulders, you can tell that they are retrospecting their inescapable memories. Which sit like pins in their veins .
All the way long the driver kept telling us the stories behind some destroyed houses, In the silence that follows every story I imagined what have happened, I could hear the gasps and groans that come from being submerged in rubbles, the sounds of weeping moms.. some tears sneaked out.
When I got out of the car I lingered in the street looking at the destruction like if I was walking in some museum, looking at people eyes trying to read their stories.
Paulo coelho once said ” Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” And I can’t agree more, as we are torn between our unkown destiny and our inescapable memories.
I don’t feel that the war is over inasmuch as I still have war-related nightmares, the drones haven’t left our sky, they are buzzing and buzzing, not only annoying us but also make us feel unsafe and insecure, the warplanes hover in our sky from time to time and we are still scared, confused and unsure.
just the killing had stopped but the suffering is still. And probably will remain for a long, long time unless we all wake up with amnesia! And I don’t see that happening, we will keep suffering silently till God knows when.