Dwelling in vortexes of everything and I feel nothing, I want what I don’t need, and I need what I don’t want. I’m drowning in myself, I need an anchor yet I don’t want it I want to feel every moment of going deep down, I want to feel the ecstasy of breathing well under water, but it takes time to get up again and dry yourself, I haven’t got the time. I want to sleep the rest of 2014 yet I don’t need to. There’s too much good things I don’t want to miss, like the fiery sun giving the cold sea a daily goodnight kiss, or watching the stars dancingly drowning in the space abyss, more and less, I know, life is a beautiful mess.
I want to talk but I need peaceful silence. I need to make it clear for everyone around me that I’m not sad at all but I don’t want to talk or explain to them, I owe no one an explanation anyway. they think I have every reason to be sad but truly I can’t even find a one. I’m happy, trust me, I’m happy in my own way. let me enjoy my silence it will let me get to the inner balance that I lost during the war, stop judging my feelings, stop deciding how should I feel depending on some stereotyped thinking, I’m different and thus the way I react to things around me, stop making me feel like a fish out of water each time you look at me like some pathetic lost puppy, stop ignoring my smiles and just smile back and don’t speak ..hushh don’t speak my soul is sleeping, let it rest.